Through my post operative 6 week period, I toggled between Netflix and Crave TV. Here are some of my Netflix favourites. You will notice none of these deal with self help-more on that later
Good Australian product-quite funny
One of my all time faves
Brilliant British production- crime mystery stuff
Another excellent British crime show
The Fundamentals of Caring
The Book Thief
Excellent story and good reminder
The Big Short
Difficult to grasp the high level finance except they are all crooks
Excellent period drama
When two cultures collide- funny
Follow your heart!
Hector and the Search for Happiness
A funny story about a therapist who needs to get away
On that note, I will end it here. Why no movies of the self-help genre??? This was the first time since I was a child that I gave myself permission to totally rest and shut off. That awareness was astounding for me and as a result, I have made a commitment to disappear once every quarter into a time and space where self help is not on the menu.
As many of you know, I had my right hip replaced in Mid January which meant I spent the winter ( 6 weeks) cuddled into and under my duvet. I didn’t have to shovel or scrape off the car or struggle through the snow instead, I read loads of books which I will share with you now.
Jane Christmas Books
I loved all of them!
Lion by Saroo Brierley
True story – earns an A
Clara Callan by Richard B. Wright
The authors writing style is interesting- calming book
A Man Called Ove- Fredrik Bachman
In Death- by J.D.Robb
Needed a good crime mystery!
I also watched a TON of Netflix and Crave TV and Ill share those in my next blog.
I am back at work now feeling quite refreshed and relaxed. Thank you to all the people that reached out to check in on me.
Would You Benefit from a Personalized Care Plan?
We hear a lot of noise on work life balance and although a noble goal, how do we get there? In 15 years of practice I have witnessed clients who struggle daily with the demands of their jobs and their families. I got to thinking- what if we accepted the busyness but built in little rests throughout the day. Instead of looking at big chunks of time which are rarely achieved, can we accumulate enough rest periods in little chunks to benefit our bodies, minds, and spirits?The answer is yes.
Taking my lead from the fitness experts, we know that little exercise breaks throughout the day lowers our cortisol and improves our general health.
I like to create personalized care plans because one size does not fit all. Each one of us has different strengths and circumstances and care plans are tailored to what works for you.
Here is an example of a care plan developed for a friend who works on average an 80 hour week.
Based on the writing by Jonathan Fields, out of the three buckets in life: vitality; connection; and contribution, her vitality bucket had hit rock bottom. Physically, mentally, and emotionally she was not feeling vital and energetic. Here is the “ Heidi Prescription”
Jonathan Fields has a great podcast- look for Good Life Project www.goodlifeproject.com/radio
I highly recommend his book www.goodlifeproject.com/book
All conflict comes from a position of polarity vs. duality. Think about it. When we come from a space of polarity things are right or wrong, good or bad, acceptable or not acceptable, white or black etc. Duality is the ability to hold many different thoughts in our space and to look for the similarities that unite us vs. the differences that seperate us. Polarity is a threatening stance and duality is an accepting stance.
What can you do when you have conflict at work or at home? What if you are part of a family business and the conflict at work hits a high and then youre expected to eat turkey dinner with the same people who were just raking you over the coals. Do you avoid conflict at home because you fear it will escalate into a full blow fight? All very good reasons for wanting to run for the hills at the mere sniff of conflict but there will be no resolution. Here are some quick steps to keep the difficult conversations positive and moving forward.
1. Stay calm. You want to be able to hear the words and observe the body language
2.Control your own emotions and behaviours. You can't listen to others if you are screaming!
3. Pay attention to the words and the feelings expressed
4.Remember duality and be respectful of others opinions.
Here are some great questions to ask to move the conversation along
What would like to see happen and how does that look for you?
What would it take for us to move forward and how do we get there?
Are you willing to share the impact this has had on you? Are you willing to listen to my perspective?
Remember to listen actively. Suspend your agenda until the person has completed their version of the issue. Then clarify that what you heard is indeed the issue and the start using your skills to unravel the problem and create solutions.
A peanut butter death. I had to do it people although it went against every peace, love, and connectedness chromosome in my DNA I had to kill the mouse
He peeked his cute little head out from under the laundry room door one evening. What to do? Surely we could live together in peace. Mousey would go in and out of the house as if he were a vacationer
Then I got a grip. Slowly I trudge into Home Hardware where several people were giving me the low down on all the traps. Best one is the cheapest one. So once I figured out how to set this trap down it went into the laundry room
I opened the door this morning and mousey is no longer of this world. Now what do I do?????? I hope it was a swift death and yes I feel terrible
At the advice of fellow slaughterhouse folks the second trap has gone in. Maybe this one won't be so hard.
I went out to lunch with my Dad the other day to where else? The Black Forest Inn of course(have I tried every schnitzel on the menu yet?)http://www.blackforestinn.ca
My Dad is 88 years old and we've had a fractured relationship for years but just like clockwork, we have our lunches at the BFI.My father immigrated from Austria in the early 50's as a trained bricklayer. He saw Canada as the land of opportunity so he got a job by day and built his first house at night by candlelight. The house on Joan Drive in Aldershot is still as pretty as it was 60 years ago. With some savvy business sense and physical labour he built a successful contracting business.
Now he struggles with immense back pain as his discs are degenerated but he never complains. In fact, he still flirts with every waitress and asks for a kiss which they give him with a smile. My Dad taught me the value of focused work, a sense of humour,and don't spend what you don't have(not sure I listened to that one)
I have thrown away the other lessons which were not that positive. He's not going to last forever and I will miss him. He is my last living parent and the last witness to my childhood. So here's to more lunches