1. Look for EARLY WARNING SIGNALS of conflict in yourself (this is the ideal) or in others.
These are: Increase in VOLUME AND PACE of speech.
Increase in INTERRUPTIONS AND TALKING OVER OTHERS.
The discussion turns to COMMON TROUBLE SPOTS.
Make a list of and PREPARE FOR the times (e.g. when either are tired or busy), situations (e.g. the other is late, either have been drinking) and issues that frequently lead to conflict. Common topics that spark conflict among couples are: money/expensive purchases, insensitive comments, frequency of sexual intercourse and undone chores. Watch and listen for them before you get to that feeling of "Here we go again! Why do we always end up arguing like this?!"
Remain focused on the present. Stop getting anxious or fearful about what might happen 3 days from now. Ask yourself, "what are three things I can move forward today?". This will help you to remain on target.
Scale your stress. Imagine a scale from 1-10. 1 meaning “all is good”, 10 meaning” life and death”. When you are presented with a stressful situation, silently ask yourself, where does this event fit on the scale?
Prioritize- everyone feels the stress and it worsens when you get twice the workload because your buddy called in a sick day. Look at the work, create a list of realistic action items, prioritize, move forward.
If you BELIEVE stress will harm you it likely will have a negative outcome. If you BELIEVE that stress will build your "courageous muscles" then the outcome is more positive.
Exercise - walk up a flight of stairs or around the block.
Get outside for your lunch break. Sitting in the lunch room with people complaining will only fuel the stress.
Focus on what you are doing and not on the person that is causing you stress. Rehashing what someone said yesterday is pointless.
Think positive. A stressful situation can be considered enriching instead of distressing. When you think a thought, ask yourself-“does this make me feel good or bad?” If the answer is bad then rethink the thought.
Clear the clutter in your mind through deep breathing.
If spiritual, pray for strength, understanding, and compassion.
Write down your feelings and thoughts. Journaling is a great way to reduce negative thoughts and calm down. Carry a pocket journal in your briefcase and write down what you are thinking.
Limit the amount of time you are connected to the office. Downtime is essential to reboot your energy.
Prioritize. Not everything is critically important. Decide what needs to be done first and focus on completing one job at a time.
Plan your leisure. Make sure you do something nice for yourself.
For 12 years as a Registered Social Worker,I have had the honour of counselling hundreds of people and bringing them from a place of discomfort to a place of joy. Discomfort can arise from a bunch of issues such as : being overworked and overwhelmed, anxiety, depression, unhappy relationships, negative self-limiting beliefs and thought patterns.
Experts say that people start to feel better as soon as they make an appointment. Why is that? You have decided to stop trying to solve everything on your own. No one can do it all alone. At some point we all need to get the advice and support from professionals.
I invite and encourage you to call with any questions or concerns. To make the process easier, you can book on line through my web site.
What about the fee?
$155.00 per hour if you commit to one session only
$425.00 if you committ to a package of three one-hour sessions and
$725.00 if you committ to a package of 5 one-hour sessions.
Welcome to COACHING WITH HEIDI
For twelve years I have coached, educated, inspired, and counselled hundreds of people to move from a state of struggle to state of peace, acceptance, and joy. My clients learn to eliminate negative thought patterns and beliefs. They are able to create a life abundant with loving relationships,positive thoughts and beliefs, and a deeper sense of "knowing".